“Top 10 Signs You May Have Hired a Bad Agent”

In my quest to find the right agent to represent me, I’ve run into many others who are searching also. As a service to those seekers, here is today’s “Top 10” list:

Top 10 Signs You May Have Hired a Bad Agent

#10:  They think that Kinkos is a major Publishing house.

# 9:  They’re in the Witness Protection Program

# 8:  Their office is in the back of a van, parked down by the river.

# 7:  You can only talk to them every other weekend, and then it’s through plexiglass at the State prison.

# 6:  Your agent only works at night, because he really believes he’s Batman.

# 5:  Everytime you visit them, they invite you to sit on their lap and tell them all about “your wittle bitty book.”

# 4:  Their entire wardrobe is made of Spandex.

# 3:  Instead of using their real name, the insist you call them “Mighty Caesar.”

# 2:  They call you, all excited, because they’ve made a deal for your novel to be the first chocolate-dipped book in the country.

# 1: Their Business Card says, “Guido’s Sewer Cleaning and Literary Service” and their motto is: “All day long, we’re dealing with other people’s you-know-what.”

ohhhhhh boy. Do you have any other suggestions?

13 Comments

Filed under Christian Fiction, editing, Larry W. Timm, reading, Writing

13 responses to ““Top 10 Signs You May Have Hired a Bad Agent”

  1. LOL. I don’t THINK my agent exhibits any of them, but I’ll have to ask his other clients.

  2. Okay that was way too funny. thanks for giving me my laugh for the day
    sharon dunn

  3. whylori

    Hey, Larry. You are a genius. #ThatIsAll

  4. Larry, I love these top ten lists you do! Keep ’em going.

  5. Pingback: I'm not ashamed to say that my friends write well. | Commotion in the Pews

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