Top 10 Unfortunate Responses to a Book Proposal

I just submitted my first book proposal. Now I’m worried how it’s going to be received. And that led me to today’s Top 10 list. Here’s what my weary and worried mind came up with:

Top 10 Unfortunate Responses to a Book Proposal:

# 10:  “ROFLOL! By the way, when will you sending the real proposal?”

#  9:  “Thanks for letting me read your book proposal. I haven’t slept this good in a long time!”

#  8:  “Were you drunk when you wrote this?”

#  7:  “Dear Mr. Timm, you can’t list Jim Rubart as an endorser of your book just because he said ‘Hello’ to you at a conference. And Nancy Mehl said the restraining order is not just a joke. Additionally, you can’t say that Chevy Chase is co-author simply because you sort of look like him.”

#  6:  “Your proposal was greatly appreciated. Our parrot, Mr. Snarky, has diarrhea, and we are out of newspaper.

#  5:  “Having read your book proposal, I’ve believe the best way to fix the problems within the pages is to hold the entire proposal by the upper left hand corner, and then set the bottom right hand corner on fire.

#  4:  “After reading your proposal, the editors of four publishing houses have met and unanimously agreed that you’re insane. Have a nice day.”

#  3:  “Please be informed that our legal department has carefully studied the marketing plan you submitted with your proposal–along with the photographs and drawings you unfortunately  provided–and we have determined that all of your ideas are either illegal, physically impossible, or would require surgery to undo.”

#  2:  “Dear Larry, while it’s true that Dr. Seuss wrote some really suspenseful stories, and although we agree that some might think of The Grinch that Stole Christmas as a real spine-tingler, you need to send us more recent comparable titles right away.”

#  1:  “I’m sorry to report that a swarm of dung beetles has rolled your book proposal away. Better luck next time.”


Okay, friends…if I get any of these responses I’ll let you know. Have a nice day.


Filed under books, Christian Fiction, editing, Larry W. Timm, reading, Top 10 List, Top Ten list, Uncategorized, Writing

14 responses to “Top 10 Unfortunate Responses to a Book Proposal

  1. Larry, I was just about to shut down my computer for the night (contrary to what my husband thinks, this does happen) when your blog arrived in my in-box. When I saw the header I knew I had to read it. With my own proposal out at a few houses I can very well understand the breath-holding you’re now enduring. May you be blessed with much great news.

    And as always, thanks for the smile.

  2. Mary L Gessner

    No comment…still rolling on the floor laughing. Too funny.

  3. Shawn

    Big smile here.

  4. How funny, I was thinking the other day when you put the Viking hat on, you resembled Chevy Chase. Wasn’t his novel in the flick Funny Farm a flop? Hah, maybe listing him as Co- author isn’t as slick a move as you think…

    Loved it, as always!

  5. Larry…WAKE UP! In the real world nobody hears back from agents, acquisitions editors, nor anybody closely related to them. If you sent it by snail mail then you can congratulate yourself for keeping the US Postal Service alive for one more day.
    Okay, now you can let your breath out and go back to your real life.

  6. Carolyn Boyles

    I really enjoyed this commentary, as I have been there and done that.

  7. Good giggle. Sometimes even a personal no, thanks is better than the wondering, wondering, wondering…

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