Still working on my version of a theme song for American Christian Fiction Writers, so here’s another “Top 10” list. Many writers–myself included–have entered writing contests. And, possibly, a few writers have fantasized about what they’d say or do if they won and had to make an acceptance speech. Here are ten things to avoid:
Top Ten Bad Ways To Start an Acceptance Speech When You Win A Writing Contest
#10: By fainting on stage.
# 9: By way of live video feed from the restroom
# 8: By saying, “Personally, I think my book stinks! Wow, the other entries in this category must have been really bad!”
# 7: By crying so hard that you short-circuit the microphone and electrocute yourself.
# 6: By saying, “Man, this award looks a lot smaller up close.”
# 5: By saying, “Since I may never actually publish this book, I’m going to read the entire thing to you now. Chapter one…….
# 4: By jumping on your table and yelling, “Show me the money!”
# 3: By staring at the editor who rejected your previous book and screaming, “Track Change this!”
# 2: By declaring, “I’d just like to say to the other contestants, Na-Na-Na-Na-Na-Na!”
# 1: By shaking your head in disbelief and announcing, “I didn’t really think this book would win when I printed it off the internet!”
Any other bad things could happen (besides me in a kilt)?