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“Top 10 Signs You May Have Hired a Bad Agent”

In my quest to find the right agent to represent me, I’ve run into many others who are searching also. As a service to those seekers, here is today’s “Top 10” list:

Top 10 Signs You May Have Hired a Bad Agent

#10:  They think that Kinkos is a major Publishing house.

# 9:  They’re in the Witness Protection Program

# 8:  Their office is in the back of a van, parked down by the river.

# 7:  You can only talk to them every other weekend, and then it’s through plexiglass at the State prison.

# 6:  Your agent only works at night, because he really believes he’s Batman.

# 5:  Everytime you visit them, they invite you to sit on their lap and tell them all about “your wittle bitty book.”

# 4:  Their entire wardrobe is made of Spandex.

# 3:  Instead of using their real name, the insist you call them “Mighty Caesar.”

# 2:  They call you, all excited, because they’ve made a deal for your novel to be the first chocolate-dipped book in the country.

# 1: Their Business Card says, “Guido’s Sewer Cleaning and Literary Service” and their motto is: “All day long, we’re dealing with other people’s you-know-what.”

ohhhhhh boy. Do you have any other suggestions?

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Filed under Christian Fiction, editing, Larry W. Timm, reading, Writing