Tag Archives: how to remain unpublished

How To Remain Unpublished

Here are the top ten ways to guarantee that you never get published:

  • 10:  Actually believe that your mother knows more about the publishing industry than the professionals do.
  •  9:  Don’t let yourself get bogged down with learning the craft. You probably know it all anyway.
  •  8:  Become addicted to Facebook & Twitter, and then wonder why you never have time to work on your manuscript.
  •  7:  Embrace paranoia by assuming that every piece of criticism is actually aimed at you and your mother personally.
  •  6:  Chose 4000 cable channels, the top-end smartphone plane, and eating out several times a week as more important that buying writing books and going to conferences.
  •  5:  Even though you’re unpublished and know everything, assume that other unpublished writers don’t know anything about writing becasue…well, they’re unpublished.
  •  4:  Wait for the publishing industry to wise up to your writing prowess, rather than learning what it takes to get published. So why waste time on them?
  •  3:  Send a nasty note to each agent or publisher that rejects your obviously brilliant manuscript. Or go on Facebook and say bad things about them.
  •  2:  When an editor says that you have a severe POV problem, respond by saying that you’ll get right in to see your doctor because he probably “has a cream for that.”

And the number one way to insure that you never get published:

  •  1:  Never finish a manuscript. Just keep polishing the same three chapters…year after year after year.

Any other suggestions?

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Filed under Christian Fiction, Christian Growth, Christian Life, editing, Writing