Tag Archives: Suede Beefcake

“Ode to Writer’s Block” or “How I almost became a Romance Writer”

After reading today’s “offering”, you may think I should be fitted for one of those wrap-around sweaters that tie in the back. Enjoy! Have a good laugh even.

“Ode to Writer’s Block” or “How I almost became a Romance Writer.”

I opened my laptop, and stared at the screen.

I glared at the cursor as it blinked back at me.

I swallowed some coffee and peered at the clock,

determined to get through this writer’s block.

I paced round the table, ran my hand through my hair,

rubbed hard on my temples, then plopped down in my chair.

“Eureka!” I hollered, “now I am on it…

I think all my heroine needs is a bonnet!”

But a rude awakening then smashed my glee

I don’t write Amish…and my book’s buggy-free.

I slapped my forehead, slumped back in my chair

as the “boys in the basement” chose to play solitaire.

“No! I won’t play…okay, maybe one round.”

Then back to the book, and that keyboard I’d pound.

Two hours later, I snapped out of my trance

and decided to switch from suspense to romance.

Yes…an epic love story sounded just like the ticket.

I’ll make readers swoon, and Oprah will pick it.

A hunky pen name–that’s what I need,

so from now on “Suede Beefcake” I’ll be.

I giggled profusely, pumped my fist in the air,

leapt to my feet, then jumped up on the chair.

I danced on the table, on my chest started drumming,

sure a best-seller soon would be coming.

I ripped off my shirt, then crowed like a rooster,

until someone said, “Can I help you, mister?”

Wouldn’t you know it…it was just my luck…

I’d completely forgotten I’d come to Starbucks!

People were staring…wide-eyed, mouths a gaping,

one had a camera and I’m sure she was taping.

Others were frozen…mid-sip or mid-scone…

I decided it was time for me to go home.

I cleared my throat, hopped down to the floor,

snatched up my laptop, and ran for the door,

yelling, “I know what you’re thinking, but I can explain.

I am writer…Suede Beefcake is my name!”

My career writing romance was brief and quite tense.

And now I have returned to writing suspense.

The highs and the lows…the struggles and fighting…

Oh, how I love this thing they call “writing!”


Filed under Christian Fiction, Christian Growth, Christian Life, editing, reading, Writing