I can’t wait to tell you all the serious, soul-stretching lessons I’ve learned while tucked away on the beautiful campus of the Ridgeway Conference Center in North Carolina. But that will have to wait…instead I bring you:
Top 10 Things I’ve Learned at BRMCWC
# 10: I shouldn’t go listen to the super-hilarious Torry Martin speak if I have a full bladder…(don’t worry, I’m sure they removed the chair I was sitting in)…seriously, he is one of the funniest people I’ve ever heard.
# 9: Eddie Melson loves Social Media as much as I love Dr. Pepper! (Maybe next year I can teach a class on “The importance of Dr. Pepper in a Writer’s life”)
# 8: As the week goes on, I’m hearing my voices in my head, and they’re all shouting, “Get more coffee! NOW!” (And allllllllllll God’s children said…..”
# 7: If Karl Bacon, Joe Courtmanche, and I were actually identical triplets separated at birth, society is probably better for it. (I mean those two are nuttier than a bag of almonds)
# 6: It’s important to read the labels on the bottles you find in the bathroom, because hand/body lotion is not the same as conditioner. But I do now have the most smooth and supple scalp at the conference.
# 5: Each day ten more steps appear that were NOT there the day before. They! Were! Not! There!
# 4: The more exhausted I get, the greater the likelihood that I will weep tears of joy at the sight of a pan filled with bacon.
#3: The reason I wear a name tag is because when I’m trying to pitch my story to an agent or editor I get so nervous I have no idea who I am, so I giggle, thump my name tag holder, and start talking like Yoda…”Ahhhh, me this is…” (Any wonder why I’m still unpublished?)
# 2: In these here parts, Al Gansky is affectionately referred to as “The Right Reverend, Doctor, You-Got-Music-But-I-Still-Have-N0-Rythym, Father, Hey-I’m-Talking-Here, Conference Director Allllllton Gansky.”
and the # 1 thing I’ve learned so far during my stay at BRMCWC……
# 1: When I’m out walking around the conference center at night, I scream exactly the same if it’s a man-eating black bear or just the wind rustling a bush!