I can’t wait to tell you all the serious, soul-stretching lessons I’ve learned while tucked away on the beautiful campus of the Ridgeway Conference Center in North Carolina. But that will have to wait…instead I bring you:
Top 10 Things I’ve Learned at BRMCWC
# 10: I shouldn’t go listen to the super-hilarious Torry Martin speak if I have a full bladder…(don’t worry, I’m sure they removed the chair I was sitting in)…seriously, he is one of the funniest people I’ve ever heard.
# 9: Eddie Melson loves Social Media as much as I love Dr. Pepper! (Maybe next year I can teach a class on “The importance of Dr. Pepper in a Writer’s life”)
# 8: As the week goes on, I’m hearing my voices in my head, and they’re all shouting, “Get more coffee! NOW!” (And allllllllllll God’s children said…..”
# 7: If Karl Bacon, Joe Courtmanche, and I were actually identical triplets separated at birth, society is probably better for it. (I mean those two are nuttier than a bag of almonds)
# 6: It’s important to read the labels on the bottles you find in the bathroom, because hand/body lotion is not the same as conditioner. But I do now have the most smooth and supple scalp at the conference.
# 5: Each day ten more steps appear that were NOT there the day before. They! Were! Not! There!
# 4: The more exhausted I get, the greater the likelihood that I will weep tears of joy at the sight of a pan filled with bacon.
#3: The reason I wear a name tag is because when I’m trying to pitch my story to an agent or editor I get so nervous I have no idea who I am, so I giggle, thump my name tag holder, and start talking like Yoda…”Ahhhh, me this is…” (Any wonder why I’m still unpublished?)
# 2: In these here parts, Al Gansky is affectionately referred to as “The Right Reverend, Doctor, You-Got-Music-But-I-Still-Have-N0-Rythym, Father, Hey-I’m-Talking-Here, Conference Director Allllllton Gansky.”
and the # 1 thing I’ve learned so far during my stay at BRMCWC……
# 1: When I’m out walking around the conference center at night, I scream exactly the same if it’s a man-eating black bear or just the wind rustling a bush!
larrywtimm 
And here I was thinking I was the only one who’d scream at a bear with a fettish for conference attendees!
As always, great post.
LOL. Yep, Elaine….I may become speechless in front of an agent or editor, but I’m afraid of what might come out of my mouth if confronted with a bear…or a menacing bush. 🙂
LOL
I’m considering going to a writer’s conference in Muncie, Indiana in July. Still weighing the value versus cost. It sounds like I should factor in “entertainment value” as well. 🙂
And #1A, try not to have anything at all in your mouth … because I PROMISE you will spew it on to those sitting close when Torry struts like a model.Gotta love that guy! Thanks for the reminders.
I’ve got the cd of Torry’s keynote, and I can’t wait to listen to it.